1.07.2007

Non-Consumption: The Anti-Drug

Not purchasing, like not eating (ie. dieting) is anticlimactic. Here I am, not buying anything, which is essentially a non-act. It doesn't look very much different from sitting and cogitating or simply living my life; reading a book, editing photos, cleaning the kitchen. The real activity is the war raging in my mind. Just like dieting - the constant denial of scratching the itch to eat something gooey and delicious - not consuming is a war waged with self-talk.

The real question is what *haven't* I bought. I can tell you both what I haven't eaten and what I haven't purchased in the last week. That's a pitiful state to be in. There was the degrading rationalization of those weight loss DVD's which, inexplicably, are the only things on the planet not available used from eBay. Despite an intimate knowledge of limited carb diets, a plethora of books on the topic and a lifetime of readings on diet (not to mention access to the Internet and multiple online communities of dieters), my brain has convinced me that the knowledge contained in these particular DVD's surpasses all which has gone before. I had planned to buy them before the year ended and simply put it off a few weeks, never suspecting that I might take a flight of fancy and change my consumption habits altogether. What if, I told myself, what if I pretend that I ordered them last year and they are just now arriving? What if my need to lose weight is more important than my desire to save the planet? I have to accept that I'm going to have a number of wars with myself this year.

Both arenas of non-action are going to have to become lifestyles. At that point they'll cease to be anti-anything. They'll just be part of who we are and what we stand for. And that's a good thing.

3 comments:

Jeri said...

Well done, I will enjoy reading about your journey through nonbuying.

Debbie said...

I'm enjoying your blog a great deal, thanks for sharing it.

I'm having those same internal struggles. I knit for charity. A lot. In my compact I'm "allowing" myself to purchase new yarn for charity projects if I don't have something that I can use already or can't find it used (it turns out people do recycle yarn from sweaters!). And I really have plenty on hand, at least to get started. But for some reason this isn't really sinking in and I find myself wanting to buy more yarn.

I've talked myself out of buying more yarn more times than I care to think about. But so far, so good. Hopefully this part of it will get easier.

Good luck to you -- I'll be following along.

Rosie said...

Good job ladies...I hope you can stay
focused and do not let anyone tell
you that non buying is NOT an action.

It is a rebellious act that shows who
YOU really are...and act of war against those companies who make us feel inferior for not having what they dictate is in Vogue.